as controversial as she was, i admired amy winehouse. her talents never ceased to amaze me, but i was mostly impressed by her vulnerability. 

amy was the very picture of the saying, “wearing her heart on her sleeve”. there was no “business tactics, “public images”, or “calculated moves”. 

when it came to amy – what you saw was what you got. professional life: insecure, emotionally unstable, unprepared for sudden fame and lack of privacy that followed suit. personal life: broken hearted, lost, crushed. amy was many things in thousand facets, but it all boiled down to one thing: she was real. 

and that is why many of us can relate to her.

that is why everytime i listen to her songs i feel a renewed sense of gratitude. her songs, even the darkest kinds, serve as some kind of silver lining. the struggle is real, but so is the finish line. it may not be within sight, but it is there. 

despite all the pain, anger, grief, resentment, and confusion, someday it all will make sense.



here i am, sitting in a swanky lobby of a prominent hotel in bangkok – feeling refreshed and relaxed after an unbelievably good sleep in my cool room (19 degC) on a king-size bed with amazing pillows – sipping my cappuccino and nibbling on a delicate pistachio cake, and typing this entry.

when i think about him now, i feel neutral, indifferent, and… free.

and that feels good.

it’s about time anyway.

to start a new chapter of my life.


true love

for a second, i was in control
i had it once, i lost it though
and all along the fire below would rise

and i wish you could have let me know
what’s really going on below
i’ve lost you now, you let me go
but one last time

tell me you love me
if you don’t then lie
oh lie to me

remember once upon a time
when i was yours and you were blind
the fire would sparkle in your eyes
and mine

so tell me you love me
if you don’t then lie
oh lie to me
just tell me you love me
if you don’t then lie
oh lie to me
if you don’t then lie
oh lie to me

and call it true
call it true love
call it true
call it true love