something for monday

credit: @vididisini

i used to enter a room with gusto
head straight, the wind behind my back
the word passion is one that has haunted this generation
at a time when anyone can be anything
there must be someone who is losing their thing

is there a word for a sentence unfinished
a chest unfound
a dying whirlwind?
can you find the instruction to just not think?

do not follow the blinking lights
or the signals from the motherboard
don’t entertain the fights
or crack open stolen codes

listen to the heaving breaths of your mother instead
as she screams for you to simply show up.

show up unimpressed, show up undone, unclean, show up underdressed
show up flailing, show up failing, clinging the charms you love best
show up nervous, show up confused, show up as the uncomfortable mute

show up unabridged,
somehow broken but whole, hollow but filled
show up swallowed, show up shallow
show all the paradoxes you have built

show up with coffee and cognac racing through your vein
show up with dense wood of curse words outlining your brain

it’s hard to admit that
sometimes getting yourself out of the door
is the bravest thing you do in a day
but that is OK

like the lily in the valley on the first sun of May
show up anyway.