do i really have to put a title here?

my muses, observations, and thoughts

something for monday

credit: @vididisini

i used to enter a room with gusto
head straight, the wind behind my back
the word passion is one that has haunted this generation
at a time when anyone can be anything
there must be someone who is losing their thing

is there a word for a sentence unfinished
a chest unfound
a dying whirlwind?
can you find the instruction to just not think?

do not follow the blinking lights
or the signals from the motherboard
don’t entertain the fights
or crack open stolen codes

listen to the heaving breaths of your mother instead
as she screams for you to simply show up.

show up unimpressed, show up undone, unclean, show up underdressed
show up flailing, show up failing, clinging the charms you love best
show up nervous, show up confused, show up as the uncomfortable mute

show up unabridged,
somehow broken but whole, hollow but filled
show up swallowed, show up shallow
show all the paradoxes you have built

show up with coffee and cognac racing through your vein
show up with dense wood of curse words outlining your brain

it’s hard to admit that
sometimes getting yourself out of the door
is the bravest thing you do in a day
but that is OK

like the lily in the valley on the first sun of May
show up anyway.

rose-tinted glasses

when the truth is revealed, what is left is a puny shadow of what i thought he was. 

amy

as controversial as she was, i admired amy winehouse. her talents never ceased to amaze me, but i was mostly impressed by her vulnerability. 

amy was the very picture of the saying, “wearing her heart on her sleeve”. there was no “business tactics, “public images”, or “calculated moves”. 

when it came to amy – what you saw was what you got. professional life: insecure, emotionally unstable, unprepared for sudden fame and lack of privacy that followed suit. personal life: broken hearted, lost, crushed. amy was many things in thousand facets, but it all boiled down to one thing: she was real. 

and that is why many of us can relate to her.

that is why everytime i listen to her songs i feel a renewed sense of gratitude. her songs, even the darkest kinds, serve as some kind of silver lining. the struggle is real, but so is the finish line. it may not be within sight, but it is there. 

despite all the pain, anger, grief, resentment, and confusion, someday it all will make sense.